The issue can happen to anyone, even the best of us.
In 20 years, I done not far then 3000 suspensions, few hundred fire play , I got few incidents where I got scared, by chance, by training and instinct I never injure any one. Fear is a good motivator to make things safer, when fear disappears, trouble appear.
I know that I do not forgive people easily, I do not forgive myself ever.
I know the pain we feel when wrong, where a mistake can have gone very bad. I cross my finger and touch wood, but we have to understand that those performance got risk and we are aware of it.